Thursday, July 12, 2012

Toddler Myra was Politically Incorrect and Ultimately Uncaring of Everyone's Feelings Except her Own.

I hope all of you understand what a sacrifice this is for me to make. I am usually embarrassed to tears when mom breaks out the baby stories. Baby stories are almost as bad as baby videos. I honestly cannot remember if Boyfriend has seen any of those yet. If he has, then I mentally blocked it because it was so embarrassing for me.

Anyway, because I love you all so much, I have decided to let you be privy to two particular stories that I find pretty funny and barely anyone knows about.

Well, they will now. But whatever.

Anyway. With the help of my mother (since obviously I don't personally remember these stories), I will now begin the humiliation.

Let me begin with a little story that takes place in the GHETTO of San Francisco. More specifically, in a part of town mainly inhabited by those of Latino heritage. My family and I were out in California visiting family, and I was probably around 4 years old. We were trying to find our way back to my grandfather's house, and we boarded a bus. This particular bus was extremely crowded with a variety of people. The majority of them were members of a notorious Mexican gang that pretty much dominated the area we were in. There was also a lady with a live chicken in a paper bag sitting across from us, which toddler Myra apparently found vastly interesting, and my poor mom had to constantly tell me, "Myra, NO. We DON'T touch other people's chickens." All the while, she was also having to quiet my then six-year-old brother, who was shouting over and over, " I WANT TO DRIVE THE BUS!!! I WANT TO DRIVE THE BUS!!!"  And I started asking really loudly, "WHY DOES SHE HAVE A CHICKEN IN A BAG??"

She finally got us quieted and we were sitting like civilized children should.

It didn't last.

I started looking inquisitively around the bus, taking in the people that were riding with us. I stared especially hard at the Mexican gang members. I looked at them for a while, and then turned to my mom, and said in a really loud voice, "Do you know what I just noticed? Everyone on this bus is CHINESE except for us!!!!!" To my mother's horror, I turned back to the confused-looking gang members, and told them, "Did you know you were CHINESE?!?"

My mom snatched me onto her lap, looked apologetically at the men I had just offended, and said, "I'm so sorry. She's only four." To which one of their gang shrugged and replied,  "It's alright. We've been called worse things than Chinese before."

With the issue of Chinese people being on the bus resolved in my little four-year old mind, I took back up the issue of the chicken in the bag. I asked about it until we got off the bus, and my mom finally went, "She has a chicken in a bag because she's going to COOK it, dear." Four year old Myra proceeded to pitch an absolute fit, screaming, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT ON THE BUS!!?? I WOULD HAVE SAVED IT!!!!!!" Mom said tiredly, "THAT'S why I didn't tell you on the bus."

I think this, coupled with my more recent post about trying to save a rabid raccoon, have led me to the conclusion that I should just give it up and become an animal rights activist.

My next story takes place in the backyard of my great-grandmother's house in Rockford, Alabama. I had just started talking, and the discovery of language had made me almost unbearable to be around, because I would NOT shutup. (Obviously, not much has changed.) My parents and grandparents were sitting on two benches in the backyard, and they had spread a blanket on the ground between then, setting me down on it to explore the grass around the edges of the comforter, and also apparently to eat bugs, one of my favorite childhood activities.

At some point, I crawled over to my great-grandmother and tugged on her pants leg. She lifted me up in her lap and  continued to talk to my parents. My mom saw me studiously looking at the skin on my grandmother's neck, which had become rather saggy, as is usual for the elderly. But infant Myra had never before come into contact with such a thing before. To my parent's horror, I reached up and lightly slapped her neck skin. And then I latched onto it and flapped it around a little. Then I looked at my mom and shouted (apparently toddler Myra shouted all the time and never used her inside voice" "WHY IS HER SKIN FALLING OFF?? IT LOOKS LIKE A TURKEY!!!" I then stopped, frowned, and a concerned and frightened look came over my face. " IS GRANDMA TURNING INTO A TURKEY!!??"

Mom says she doesn't remember much after that. She thinks she might have blocked it from her memory. But to me it seems like a perfectly legitimate question to ask. Especially if you are afraid your grandma might turn into a turkey at any moment.

Anyway, that's about all I think I can bear sharing with you right now. I might also like to add here that the first two words I ever spoke in my life were not "Mama" or "Da-Da". They were "money" and "candy", consecutively.

How appropriate.

Anyway, I hope you had a good laugh from these. Feel free to comment and tease. I wouldn't blame you.

I hope that God has mercy on me when I become a mother and gives me children exactly the opposite of myself.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Guest Post Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well hey there! This is NOT Myra. This is actually Matt from over at A Link to the Matt. Myra and I have decided to switch up and do a guest post on each others blogs. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… “Who knows WHAT kind of damage Myra’s doing over on Matt’s blog.” I know… I’m thinking it too.

So what do I have to talk about? Well… I’ll tell you. Toasterphobia seems to have something of a hostile atmosphere towards guys. And by hostile I mean… Walk into an Alabama football game dressed like Aubie hostile. This is something that I kind of hope to reconcile, being a guy and all. So the following posts are some reasons why not all guys are jerks. You may also gain some insights into why some of them are.

Not all guys are rude, lazy, sex-craving pigs. That being said, a lot of them are. Here’s why. It is very easy for a guy to slip into that kind of pattern because it is in their nature. They must overcome those urges, but it’s not easy. They must build habits of being a gentleman, being a good listener, and resisting the urge to hunt for girls to have sex with all of the time. Now, the way I overcame that natural maleness was to base my habits on the Bible and its commands. But I know many non-Christians who are “good guys” as well. Seek those guys out. They are out there.

Don’t take this new feminine sense of entitlement too seriously. Myra’s “Boyfriend Handbook” was funny, but that’s all it should ever be. Guys have to sleep too. Instead, strive for a sense of equality in your relationships. A guy should be as eager to watch A Walk to Remember (which I like, by the way. I’ll be reviewing it on my blog in a couple weeks) as a girl is to play Skyrim. I know girls were mistreated in the past, but humanity has come a long way since then. Instead of a guy JUST treating a girl like a queen, treat each other like kings and queens. The key to a successful relationship is walking in harmony.

Guys, you aren’t off the hook. You still need to do acts of kindness like open doors for your girlfriend/wife, and cook dinner every once in a while. The reason girls are so emotion based is because they need to be cared for. You do that, and if you find the perfect girl, she’ll care for you right back.

My final point. People are people. Neither all guys nor all girls are inherently evil. But a member of either sex can choose to be a jerk. Girls, look for a guy to treat you well, and treat him well. That, and Christ, and you two are all set for a wonderful relationship, completely free of jerks.

 (Myra here!!! If you liked this post, you can find more of Matt's AWESOME work HERE at hjs own blog, A Link to the Matt. Thanks!!!!)

Monday, July 2, 2012

Links, Floorboards, College Survival, Drama, and Life.


Finally, the blog review I have been promising all of you :) I'm sorry I'm such a terrible person and this is like a week late. But whatever.

If this is your first time visiting my blog, this will probably be a rather dry and boring post for you to read. After checking out the following blogs, I suggest you go here and read that post instead, because it is probably my favorite post I've ever written, besides the one about deceptively evil raccoons.

With that being said, lets get this show on the road!!


A Link To The Matt

I think I should give you an overview of what my good friend and blogging partner Matt does on his blog before I tell you what I think of it. Mondays through Fridays, he does a Top Five list, which so far has included Top Five Distractions From God AND Top Five Most Anticipated Movies of 2012.  The Top Fives regress as the week goes on, starting with Number Five and ending the week with Number One, keeping you in suspense all week :) The weekend is pretty much whatever Matt feels like posting, and so far these are my favorite posts. He also randomly posts awesome Youtube videos, links to pages he likes, and he also promotes other blogs that he is a fan of. Including mine. Bravo, Matt. :) Also, brownie points to anyone who can guess the reference behind Matt's blog name.

Now, I have to be brutally honest here. Matt's blog isn't usually my type of reading. HOWEVER, when I read THIS post, it was so thought-provoking and mentally stimulating, I HAD to read more. Even if you're not into God or church, I highly suggest checking out his Top Five Distractions From God. It opened my own eyes to some of the things I might be doing in my life to prevent God from fully doing what He wants to do. Matt also wrote a post on the Obamacare bill that I literally applauded him for when I read it. There's been so much facebook drama and mudslinging going on about the bill that I loved that someone FINALLY had some sense.

Overall, Matt's dry sense of humor, coupled with his good common sense and Christian values, makes this blog a winner in my book!!! Here is his link below.

I wish Matt the best of luck with his venture into the blogging world!!!


From Under The Floorboards

The mere existence of this blog came as a surprise to me, since the writer is a dear friend of my family and I had no idea anyone else in the family blogged. So, obviously, I was extremely excited to go check it out. However, it was a little different than what I expected.

From Under The Floorboards is not what you would think a normal blog would be. Instead of a literary blog, like mine and the rest of the ones the I am reviewing, THIS blog is strictly for exhibiting illustrations, designs, art, and paintings, all done by the author himself. There is even a video of stop motion animation he did that is pretty awesome!!! I don't know if you all are as cultured and sensitive to the world of art as I am (YES that was sarcasm), but if you are a lover of art, snimation, sketches, or just beautiful things, you should definitely check this blog out. I know I will now be a faithful follower of From Under the Floorboards. I especially recommend the videos of watercolor transitions and stop motion animation he has. Way cool.

As a whole, I like the design and atmosphere of this blog. The art is wonderful and I can't wait to see more! Check out From Under the Floorboards here-



Ahhhh. This blog is near and dear to my heart, as it's author is one of my best friends and my most favorite person in the world, just because she is the only person I can reveal my true horrible self to and she doesn't judge me. We love to be terrible human beings together.

Anyway, this has got to be one of my favorite blogs to follow, just because it's so darn hilarious. This post in particular is my favorite, and as a result of reading it, I will never look at Thanksgiving the same way ever again. The namesake of the blog comes from this post, which is absolutely hysterical and 100 percent true. College is no joke, and if you want to survive it, this blog is essential. Seriously. I cannot impress upon you how much you need to read this.

This blog is fairly new, so it needs time to grow and for the author to develop her writing style. BUT it is still one of the funniest things I've ever read, and I can't wait to see what kind of stuff she posts next. I definitely give this blog a supermegafoxyawesomehot on a scale of 1-10.

And any of you who don't know that reference should just go die.

Check out the Rules Of College here-


It's Just Jordan

Another blog that is dear to me. The author, Jordan, is a special friend of mine from my old high school drama club days, and we still keep in touch pretty regularly. He is the one who dubbed me with my drama club nickname, "McLovin", and I, in return started calling him "McNugget".

We're a pretty fierce pair. Especially when it comes to bashing my ex boyfriends and wishing they had testicular cancer.

Anyway, his blog is an interesting and humorous insight into the life of a regular high school theater geek.  His blog is close to mine in nature in that Jordan pulls from his real-life experiences to write funny posts. This post reminds me so much of myself it's hilarious. I started laughing as soon as I saw the title. "I Hate Everything". It's just such an accurate description of how I felt about high school in general. I love this post as well, just because it randomly, creepily mentions how awesome I am. Thanks, Jordan. :)

Overall, if you want to see what life in high school is like these days for us thespians, this is definitely the blog for you to follow. Witty, humorous, and brutal honesty about the hardships of high school life. Jordan, I love how your blog has evolved over the years and I'm so proud of you!!!!

Guys, I command you to go check out his blog here-



This blog is new to me, and so I spent quite a while checking it out before I wrote this post about it. It is a new blog (There seem to be a LOT of new blogs lately. Hooray for new blogging friends!!! ALL OF YOU SHOULD START BLOGS!!!! Except not really, because then that's more competition for me...) and so there are few posts for me to get a feel of what the blog is about. The title pretty much sums it up- Life. Like the previous blog, It's Just Jordan, this blog is a look into high school life, only this time from the perspective of a girl. Who also happens to be a band geek. Bravo. :)

The author hands out valuable life advice in this blog. Advice on relationships, bullying, and just about how to survive the suckishness of Mondays. The blog, like I said, is new, and I feel like the writing could use a little more developing as far as style and presentation. But overall, it has ENDLESS possibilities and I am excited to see how it evolves with the author. I give it a ten! Especially on the post that tells you if life hands you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes. The mental images here are hysterical.

Give this blog a read by going to the following link-

BLOG NUMBER SIX (And thank God, it's the last one. My fingers are starting to cramp.)

Kingdom Rejuvination

Another new blog, but one I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF. Seriously guys, this blog is full of truths that so many Christians are finding hard to face these days. I can't stop reading it. It's so wonderful I can't even pick a post I want to feature on this review. All I can do is tell you to get off your lazy butts and go read it, and hope you OBEY.

I love the hardheaded and honest way the author looks at controversial Christian issues and gives her honest opinion on them. I love the writing style. I love the presentation of the posts. I love the author, too :) I highly, HIGHLY recommend you read it. And I'm sorry I can't write more on it, but I don't want to risk repeating myself over and over, going "OHMYGAH IT'S AWESOME GO READ IT NOW", because I'm pretty sure that's all it would be. So just read it.


That's all for the blog review guys. I'll post again on Friday. I have a feeling this post will involve pie.....