Nothing Gold Can Stay

You know what sucks?

Time. Time SUCKS. It really, honestly does.

Flashback to first grade...


I was sitting on the floor with my friend Ford. We were arranging pictures of different objects into the categories of solids, liquids, and gases. After we had gotten done laughing about the word 'gas' (its all very funny when you're six years old) we kinda looked at each other. And I guess we had what you could call a tiny little six-year-old epiphany. He sighed and said, "I can't believe we have twelve more years of this. It's TEN MORE YEARS till we can even drive!" And I said "Yea, I know...people say it goes by really fast, but...I dont think it will...do you?" We gave each other a look, and burst out laughing. "Nah," he said. "We're gonna be in elementary school FOREVER."

And now, Ford and I are both seniors in high school.

WHAT HAPPENED?????

When did I get so old? I mean, really. Right at this moment I am wearing a class ring and my senior shirt. My SENIOR SHIRT. Because I am a SENIOR.

A SENIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally cannot handle this.

The worst part of my sad little existence lately has been the loss of the recently graduated senior class of 2010. I seem to be going through withdrawals where they are concerned. Last year was my first year in marching band, and the seniors are what made the experience what it was. All my best memories, marching onto the field for my first competition, standing out of breath in our final pose after my first performance at my first game, winning best in class colorguard and most entertaining band three times in a row...completely embedded in those memories are all the seniors. I love them all so much. And now none of them are going to be there for me!!! They all went to college and left me behind in high school. I am just so afraid that we upcoming seniors won't be able to fill those shoes. I mean last year at competition there was barely an award we didn't win. How are we supposed to follow that? Those are enormous shoes to fill.

Anyway, lately it seems that the world at large has decided it is going to give me little reminders of this everywhere I go, just to see how sad it can make me before I go completely off my rocker. Every time I turn on the radio I hear songs like "Party Like a Rockstar", or "So What" (stand songs that we play at football games.) At the colorguard slumber party last night they showed a video of our last competition and I bawled like a friggin baby.

JUST NOW AS I AM TYPING THIS, "DON'T STOP BELIEVIN" CAME ON THE TELEVISION IN THE BACKROUND OF A MOVIE.


See???? Everyone's out to get me! That Journey song is like the band anthem!!!

I think I need a hug.