"Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.
After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.
She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.
As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.
We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.
I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember."
-TWLOHA
Hey guys :) Now, I didn't write this story.....but it comes from the core of an organization that I hold near and dear to my heart. To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit organization dedicated to finding help for those who are depressed and alone and feel like they have no one. Specifically, people who struggle with depression, self-injury, addiction, and suicide. I felt like I should share this with you guys for a number of reasons.
Let's be honest with ourselves here, NO ONE wants to talk about this kind of thing. Why? Because it freaking sucks, that's why. People who are cutters or addicts don't feel like sharing their stories, and often, people don't want to listen anyway. Because, let's be honest, it's a TOTAL downer. Right? I can see all of you now.
"Myra, what up with the depressing blog post? You're downing my vibe, yo. Chill out with all this junk."
Well, I'm sorry about your vibe, yo, and I apologize, but you are simply going to have to suffer through it a little longer. Because this is something important, and you people have an obligation to spread the word!
Now, I want you to think for a minute. Think of all of the friends you have. I'd bet a lot of money all of you know at least one who is struggling with something like this. We live in a broken world, and for some people it just becomes too much. That is why it's up to me, and YOU, to do something about it.
To some of you reading this who might be one of the people that is having a hard time, and don't know where to turn, you are NOT alone. We ALL have to deal with the human condition- and it has beauty and wonder and a passion for life, but it also has misery and loss and tragedy. People might brush off your pain like it doesn't matter, maybe because you are "too young" to feel real emotion. But TWLOHA knows that pain is real for everyone, all ages alike. This is what they have to say to you.
"You need to know that rescue is possible, freedom is possible, that GOD is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that YOUR LIFE is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change."
Guys, I know this isn't something a lot of people are comfortable talking about, or even READING about. Probably half of the people who follow my blog read the first paragraph and that's all they read. But for those of you who stuck it out this far, I thank you. :) I just want you all to know that, for people who are struggling with this kind of stuff, a kind word of gesture can be a saving grace. So everyone needs to stop with the hating and the vindictiveness and try to love more. You never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. Keep that in mind next time you're trashing someone on facebook, or sending a hurtful text, or even just giving that girl in the mall who's dressed funny a mean look.
You have a bigger impact on the people around you than you think.
So, if you've read this and decided "YEAHHHH, I wanna be cool and see what I can do to help these people 'cause I'm AWESOME!!!!!" Go to www.twloha.com. There are things YOU can do to make the world a better place for someone else out there.
Remember my dears, you never know who you have an impact on. What you say or do can make or break someone. So let's try a little more love, y'all. :)
Peace!
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